Cool Quotes

• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• All that glitters has a high refractive index.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Anarchy is better than no government at all.
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.
• Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.
• Brain—the apparatus with which we think that we think.
• Courage is your greatest present need.
• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Don't hate yourself in the morning—sleep till noon.
• Drive defensively—buy a tank.
• Entropy isn't what it used to be.
• Familiarity breeds children.
• God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6^th.
• Going the speed of light is good for your age.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.
• If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.
• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
• Jury—Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
• Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
• Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
• NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
• Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
• The road to to success is always under construction.
• Those who can't write, write help files.
• To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
• To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
• TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.
• Wasting time is an important part of life.
• When all else fails, read the instructions.
• Xerox does it again and again and again and...
• Fate often puts all the material of happiness into a man's hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them." Don Marquis