WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY

-----------------------------------------------

1) He had only one major publication.

2) It was in Hebrew.

3) It had no references.

4) It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5) Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

6) Although he claims to have created the world, what has he done since then?

7) His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8) The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9) He never applies to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10) When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning his subjects.

11) When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12) Although he holds numerous titles and degrees, they are all honorary.

13) He rarely comes to class, telling his students to just read the book.

14) Some say he had his son teach the class.

15) His TA's provide wildly different interpretations of his curriculum.

16) His office hours are infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

17) Although there are only ten requirements, most students fail his tests.

18) He expelled his first two students for learning.

19) It is rumored the only way to a good grade is to beg forgiveness.