HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN

ELEMENT: Woman

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6Kg, but known to range from 40 - 200Kg

OCCURENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

• Surface usually covered with painted film
• Boils at nothing, freezes for no known reason
• Melts if given special treatment
• Bitter if incorrectly used
• Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore
• Yields if pressure applied to correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

• Has great affinity for gold, silver and many other precious substances
• Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
• May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
• Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol
• Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES

• Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
• Can be a great aid to relaxation
• Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS

• Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
• Turns green when placed next to a better specimen

HAZARDS

• Highly dangerous, except in experienced hands
• Illegal to possess more than one, although several specimens can be maintained in different locations, as long as they do not come into contact with one another