Real Signs in Real Places

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT:
   Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:
   Bargain Basement Upstairs

3. IN AN OFFICE:
   Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE:
   After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

5. ON A CHURCH DOOR:
   This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

6. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP:
   We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

7. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW:
   Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

8. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:
   Closed due to illness.

9. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:
   Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

10. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE:
     For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

11. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET:
     If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

12. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
     We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

13. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK:
     Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.