THE TEN LAST THINGS ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY

1. I think Barry Manillow is one cool motherfucker.
2. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
3. I'm absolutely wrong, you must be right.
4. Her tits are just too big
5. Sometimes I just want to be held
6. That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody
7. Sure I would love to wear a condom
8. We haven't been to the mall in ages, let's go
9. Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
10. I think we're lost, we'd better pull over and ask for directions.

THE TEN LAST THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY

1. Could our relationship be more physical?  I'm tired of just being friends.
2. Go ahead and leave the toilet seat up, it's easier for me to douche.
3. I think hairy butts are sexy.
4. Hey, get a whiff of that one.
5. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpits are just too cute.
6. That diamond is way too big.
7. Wow, it really is 14 inches.
8. Does this make my butt look too small?
9. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I can swallow.
10. I'm wrong, you are right.