Tech Support Request

   Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the  new program began creating unexpected child processes that took up a lot of  space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was  included in the product brochure.  In addition, Wife 1.0 installs  itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.  Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run,  crashing the system whenever selected.  I can not seem to purge Wife  1.0 from my system.  I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0  but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

  - Jonathan Powell

 

  Dear Mr. Powell,

   This is a very common problem users complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to  Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. 

   Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run  everything. WARNING DO NOT try to un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed.  Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous.  Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy  valuable system resources.  You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.  Some have tried to  install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with  the original system.  Look in your manual under Warnings- Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the  background, while Wife 1.0 is running.  Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-  recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar  products such as Fling and 1.nitestand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus.    I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. 

   Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.  The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs.  System will run smooth as long as  you take the blame for all GPFs.  Wife 1.0 is a great program but is  very high maintenance. 

 Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0 

    Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD 

    Frequently use Communicator 5.0

     

  -Tech Support 

Home
News Headlines
What men mean
The Rules
Rules for Cats
Fruitcake Recipe
Deadheads
Wife 1.0
Wife 2.0
Point system
New Element
Like a penis
HAZMAT Warning
Virus Warning
Cookbook
Are you a guy?
Scan
Top Fifteen
God
Lawyers
NASA
Cool Quotes
Top Ten
Questions
Patient interviews
Puns
Back nine
Answering machines
Urinal rules
Welfare
Chicken
Engineer
Chocolate
Deep Thoughts
Women
Real Signs